I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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