Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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