Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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