So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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