she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
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she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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