how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
