Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize