My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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