they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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