it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
