Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
