My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
