There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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