No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
