she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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