I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
