There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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