So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
