Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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