I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
