So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
