plz talk dirty to me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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