dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
