They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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