The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
