I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
