that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
