I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
