I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
