I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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