A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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