so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
