using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I supernannyed him into submission
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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