just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
