Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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