dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
