yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
