My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
