dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
