All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
