He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She bit a glass in half.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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