So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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