whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened