I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.