covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need a beard to bite.