We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
