there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize