the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
