Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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