he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
