just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
