I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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