Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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