Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
