WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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