whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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