I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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