Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
