just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize