what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
