you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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