Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
