I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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