Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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