There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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