thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
