You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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