So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
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Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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