Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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